When you wear a tuxedo you feel different. OK, so most of those times involved a wedding you were in but that feeling of grandeur is in the air. It converges with the apocalyptic tone now that Sarah Palin's our president except she's orange and has a dick.

That stages the one dominant aspect of thinking in '17 - binary, dichotomous, red state/blue state, happy/sad, good/evil black/white, heads/tails way of explaining things. It never was that way back when restlessness drove the daily chance taken with such disregard for worst possible collateral damage.

Turning 40 triggered thoughts that cleaning up the act could result in maybe even 30 more years despite the wear and tear thus far from self-abuse. This takes us 30 + 2 years from then where we can see if it was all worth it.

The tuxedo answer is the only true measure, kindness and love. If you know you could knock on the door of everyone you love and you'd be welcomed with kindness, it suggests it has all been worth it.

Only 358 days to still the hurt while making the resurrection happen.